Loving Without Losing Yourself
A 2-Hour Virtual Workshop for Meeting Yourself First, So You Can be Met in Relationship
Sunday, September 13, 11am-1pm Pacific Time
What if loving someone didn’t require losing track of yourself?
Relationships ask us to be flexible. But there’s a difference between making room for another person and giving up the things that matter to you in order to thrive.
In Loving Without Losing Yourself, you’ll get honest about what feels good and what doesn’t, what you actually want and need, and your bottom lines, so you can meet yourself first and, from that place, be met in relationship.
After you submit your payment with PayPal, you will be redirected to a registration form and waiver, so please allow 5-10 minutes to complete your registration.
Are you scared to ask for what you want because you’re afraid they’ll say no?
Scared to say no because they might leave?
Do you worry that you’re too much? Not enough? Too needy? Too picky?
That what you want is somehow unreasonable?
Are you convinced you’ll never really be met?
When so much depends on them…
When we’re afraid of losing love, a lot of our attention goes toward the other person.
What will they think?
Will they still want me?
Will they be upset?
Am I asking for too much?
What do I need to do to make this work?
Maybe you’ve gotten really good at being flexible. At understanding where the other person is coming from. At making it work.
You tell yourself, It’s not that big of a deal.
You make excuses.
You go along with things that don’t actually feel good.
You people-please, caretake, make yourself smaller, or give up things that nourish you because you’re afraid of what might happen if you don’t.
And somewhere along the way, you start feeling resentful. Lonely. Misunderstood.
Maybe even a little lost…
We all want to feel heard, seen and loved for who we are.
But when so much of our attention is on whether another person will choose us, understand us, meet us or love us, it’s really easy to lose track of ourselves.
Before someone else can meet you, you have to be willing to meet yourself.
When we really want a relationship to work, it’s easy to start looking outward.
What do they want?
What will they think?
What are they willing to give me?
What will keep them happy?
What can I ask for without being too much?
It can be crazy-making!
There’s nothing wrong with caring deeply about what another person wants and needs.
In fact, being able to listen to another person with genuine curiosity is essential to co-creating a relationship together.
But not when it comes at the expense of trusting yourself.
Because when we’re afraid of losing love, we can start shaping what we want around what we think the other person will accept.
We soften the desire. Make it more reasonable. Decide what they probably won’t go for.
Tell ourselves something isn’t that important.
We start negotiating with ourselves before the conversation has even begun.
And eventually, we can become so focused on being met by someone else that we lose track of what being met would actually look like.
What if you started somewhere else?
Not with What will they give me?
But with:
What is actually true for me?
Because knowing what you want doesn’t mean you’ll always get it.
And knowing what you need doesn’t make the other person responsible for giving it to you.
It means you finally have something real to bring to the conversation.
Then you can get curious about what’s true for them.
And from there, with both of you grounded in reality and truth,
you can find out what’s actually possible between you.
Through solo journaling and embodiment practices, you’ll:
Get into right reality with yourself.
Identify what nourishes you and what drains you in relationship, sex and intimacy, and take an honest look at how much of your time, energy and attention you’re giving to each.
Ask: Is it worth it?
Explore what you’re consciously willing to choose, even when it costs you something, and what costs too much.
WHAT YOU’LL EXPERIENCE
This is a 2-hour deep dive into turning the focus away from What are they going to do? and back toward What is true for me?
Name what you actually want and need.
Get clear about what you want more of, your yes’s and no’s, and the boundaries and agreements you need in order to thrive.
Embody what lies underneath.
Touch the fear, shame, anger, resentment, loneliness or hurt that can make it difficult to own what you know to be true.
Practice holding your own truth.
Claim a desire, need or boundary for yourself without dimming it to make it more palatable, or needing someone else to agree. Purely, this is true for me.
THE TRANSFORMATION
You’ll leave with:
A clearer picture of what actually works for you.
What nourishes you. What drains you. What you want more of. What matters enough that you don’t want to keep negotiating it away.More ownership of your choices.
Instead of treating your choices as things that are simply happening to you, you’ll be better able to recognize: Yes, this costs me something and I choose it. Or: No, this costs me too much.More capacity to own what you want, even when you don’t know how someone else will respond.
Your desire can still be true if someone can’t meet it. Your no can still be your no if someone doesn’t like it. You don’t need another person’s response to tell you whether your experience is valid.A different place to begin conversations about love, sex and intimacy.
Not: How much of myself do I need to give up to make this work? But: Here’s what’s true for me. What’s true for you? What becomes possible between us? Because when you know yourself and can hold your own truth, you become more available to listen to someone else with compassion, curiosity and empathy. And that’s where co-creation can actually begin.
Details and Pricing
Date: Sunday, September 13
Time: 11am - 1pm Pacific Time
This is a Virtual Workshop on Zoom. A link will be emailed to you upon registration.
Pricing: $49
After you submit your payment with PayPal, you will be redirected to a registration form and waiver, so please allow 5-10 minutes to complete your registration.
Payment is non-refundable. If you cannot attend live, the class will be recorded for all registered participants.